Sex is a vital topic for all of us. Something to be enjoyed by everyone who can, while still being responsible. Sex is a potent and vital aspect of who we are as humans. Many people see it as just for procreation. Some see it for what it is, a pleasure activity. Science sees it for what it is. It is a mating ritual, a pair bonding ritual, it is for all intents and purposes not just for procreation, but for fun and leisure as well.
The evidence that we have sex not just for procreation, but for pleasure lies in women. We not only inverted our pelvis to have intercourse face to face, but we have also hidden our time of mensuration from men, so that they are never really sure when we are fertile. Like Dr. Darrel Ray mentions in Sex and God, we are not like baboons in prostrating our fertility. Instead we trick men by hiding the timing of our fertility. We also have sex numerous times for every pregnancy, show signs that sperm fight in our uterus, and do have a history of promiscuity with many males. The evidence for that is in the sperm of men.
As a feminist it is important to me to understand the evidence first. We need to know that monogamy and sex for procreation is not the standard. Nor does it have to be. Being a feminist means many things to different people. To me it means accepting biology for what it is, and not for what I want it to be. I am not hindered or phased by the facts presented to me. Women having had the liberty to choose their mate, to me means that we were once a species left to our biological design of nature, not encompassed by thoughts of behavior, regrets of actions, and worries of social norms. Instead we decided for ourselves what was the best for us, as it should be.
Modern women range in thoughts on this from disapproval to acceptance. The important thing is to understand, as liberated women, and feminists we should agree on one thing. It is our body and ours to decide what to do with it. No woman should tell another that it is wrong for her to want or to have sex, especially if she happens to be an atheist, and a feminist. Women’s liberation was about us personally deciding what we should do with our bodies, and how we can choose to use them. The same goes for men. Men have been given social liberties that have been excluded from women, and allowed to have sexual urges, and more open sexual behavior. Women have been taught since childhood they are to be chaste, pure, and innocent. This type of sexual training is not only unhealthy, but promotes the abuse of women and degradation of their sexuality.
The science behind sex is not skewed in the direction of men or women, but is based on evidence from genetics and evidence from history. Past studies were biased with one intent in mind, showing male domination as prescribed by god. Science has since grown and adapted strict standards on testing, on human subjects, and now must be peer reviewed. By peers they mean a general audience of educated scientists that must say your study has enough validity and repeatability that it will serve for future studies. This is vital when thinking about the evidence at hand. No scientist will ever qualify something to 100% since there are always deviations and persons who do not meet the standards found in the study, but the general populous will.
Sex has been a tool of power, used by many for control. It has been used to hurt, and shame. Sex is one of the most base and vital human urges, and so it is easy to manipulate it and utilize it for our own self gain. One thing we must remember though is that sex comes with emotional responsibilities, and when used as a weapon can do us as much harm as we inflict on it. Sex is a form of bonding, a form of interaction, it is for creating subsequent generations. It is at the core of our human existence and without it we would cease to exist.
So no one should be willing to just cast out an opinion about sex that all people should have to march to, it is a very personal choice, need, desire and more it is important to human health to continue to have it. We often overlook the value that evolution designed in this one act. But it has every merit that eating and sleeping do, it sustains the body. That can’t be dismissed by opinions, shame, fear, hurt, or panic. We shouldn’t let people who come with the intent to suppress our natural nature take the lead over our sexuality.
As a feminist I see sex and sexuality as natural forms of human nature. I see women as beautiful sexual beings who hold as much sexuality as any flower. Males as well have deep rooted sexual desires, the need to procreate, and they have urges that are not dirty, but come with the intent to do many things. Let’s not overlook the fact that when our pelvis inverted, so did the males. When we evolved for face to face sex, we evolved as a species, not as a gender. Males release Oxytocin after sex as well as dopamine, and they even have trace amounts of Oxytocin in their sperm. That is not even necessary for procreation, but for the feeling of euphoria after sex.
While there is much to be learned about human sexuality, and the needs we have, there should never be placed on people the burden to hinder themselves and dismiss their sexuality based upon nothing more than opinions about sex, that are nothing more than opinions which dismiss evidence. We should hold people to the standard of giving us valid reasons to believe what they say. Included in this text isn’t only the work of Dr. Darrel Ray, but the work of thousands of hours worth of studies. Anthropologist Helen Fisher has done incredible work on this. You can find the book Sperm Wars which will guide you to understanding sex better. I have read the research and I have also read Sex and God by Dr. Ray. So before you believe a person based upon just their uneducated, or self invested, or worse yet, evidence denying opinion, read the facts first.