Rachel Johnson

Atheist Blogger- the godlessvagina / Podcaster the pink atheist


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In Fighting, Atheism +, Misogynists, Feminism, GLTT Rights and Atheists

Freedom From Religion Foundation

 

A lot is being said about the new guys on the block, the atheism + group. I won’t call it a movement for reasons I will explain. There has been a lot of fighting and name calling, back stabbing, hurtful words and so much more going on in our movement that i thought it time to address it. I am not fully aware of every word that has been said on all the sides. Frankly, it is not important to me. Now some of you might be invested in the fight. I don’t care. I am not getting into it, no matter who you can say is the guilty party or how right you think you are. I am sure you all know that when someone does something wrong, and you do something in retaliation you then become equally as wrong as the ones who started the fight, or name calling, or what ever it was.

 

So lets establish a few things.

 

There are a lot of articulate, well thought people in Atheism, and we should be grateful for that. It is one of the things that has pushed our movement ahead by leaps and bounds. We should look to their level of intellect with gratitude and respect. Not that it is happening now. What does seem to be happening now is everyone looking for their day in the sun. All this fighting creates sides, and people gain fans as well as enemies. Which is why it seems we have the biggest problem.

 

I got into activism because people pushed me forward. I am not here because I want to be, but because I have some intelligence, ability to communicate, and most of all I stand for the world being free of religious oppression. That to me is one of the most important things. I don’t care who is wrong in atheism. I care who is wrong in religion and what it is doing to our world. They seem to be getting a break on some fronts, and even enjoying our fighting because at the end of the day we look exactly like them. They have even gone so far as to point it out. Even South Park made a satire of the kind of fighting that can and now does go on in our ranks.

 

Feminism is part of atheism! Right?

 

No actually atheism does not own feminism. That is a belief system. I am a feminist, and I know that there are religious people who are also feminists. So for atheism to own feminism we would have to exclude all the feminists who are religious. Atheists can be feminists, but it does not belong to atheism. There is not contract that says because you are an atheist you must be a feminist. When I say I am an atheist I mean just that. All of my characteristics belong to me, many of them separate from my being an atheist, and they can’t be tied together. We can’t force people to be feminists even if it is good for us. Does that mean they are anti-feminism. Not likely, some people, women included just don’t care about the issue. Some of them are against women trying so hard to get power by activism. To each their own. But it is not a part of atheism as a standard, nor should it be. At the point where you are telling anyone how to behave, think, or act, you are a religion.

 

The same goes for the Gay, lesbian, transgender, transsexual movement. I support them too, but it is not tied to atheism. It is because I am an atheist that I can see that no matter who or how you are you should be respected and equal. By equal I mean have the same social standards and opportunities as anyone else. But that is not a principal of atheism. Nor should it have to be. Once again we don’t get the right to tell people who to be or how to be. Then we are a doctrine and nothing more than a religion.

 

The men of atheism are misogynist!!!

 

No the men of atheism are used to a few things our culture has set up. Blaming them for being born as men makes you just as bad and wrong. Our society has recently invested in women and minorities being more educated. This means that the ones who were kept from education now can see the things that all the white males once saw. We have joined their ranks and come up. But what we stumbled into is some highly educated males who are used to being the smartest, the best, and a boy among boys. Now they have so much diversity around them. Most of these guys are not used to dealing with all the diversity, and look I am not justifying anything. I am saying that if you want change, then come in and make a change without blaming people for who they are. It is far better to help them see the value in change, and realize working with them makes us stronger.

 

No I am not saying anyone gets away with anything. I am saying that the learning process requires people being teachers and leaders, and that comes with patience and understanding. These are pretty bright people, and the resistance we are seeing is the push to do something they might not want. No one who is a free thinking, and skeptic person wants to be told how to think, believe, or live their lives. Instead, hand them the education and let them learn that it is better to be more open, challenge bad ideas with good ones, and lead by example. Fighting and hating will not effect anyone for the positive. It will drive them away.

 

Atheism + is wrong?

 

No, they, just like every other group, have the right to exist and behave how they want. If you don’t like their opinions or ideas, or them, just stay away from them. There have been many groups formed, and each of those serves a part of the community at large. They serve the people who are looking for what they offer. They are not a movement, because any time you try and push your personal ideas into atheism then it becomes a doctrine. If that is how they behave then let them, and choose not to get into it if you don’t agree. From my perspective they are just another group. They are atheists, and they have other issues that they personally believe in and they want to promote those, and that is fine. We welcome them.

 

I don’t like some of the things atheist groups are doing.

 

Well then find a group you do like and join them. Stop trying to make this a petty group of child like adults who are so busy nitpicking every small micro thing, and do something. It strikes me as odd that someone has the kind of time to nit pick the font on a billboard, yet there is still much work to be done. Perhaps you suffer from a lack of motivation in a more productive direction. That direction might be the religious legislation that is trying to be passed, the social injustices going on around you, and all the other things religion si pulling while you are busy studying the picture on a billboard to see how the color contrasts. You might be an expert, but you just sound pedantic when you have to poke holes in the positive things other people are trying to do, while they cover your ass. They are out there putting theirs on the line and risking it every day, so you can sit there and critique every word, and every bit of punctuation.

 

Rape Culture?

 

I think this one is left for me to say, take a good look at religion. there is some rape culture for you. They kill rape victims. they are busy doing it now while you are fighting with other atheists. Some 14 year old girl was literally beaten to death while you were worried about how some random troll on the net who has more balls behind a computer screen talked nasty to you. Yea while we are having our literary wars, some people are actually dying. Now don’t think I take shitty behavior lightly. No self respecting decent person would waste time trolling and threatening to rape people. But part of their problem is that they have too much time and not enough motivation to do positive things. I don’t think it is funny, I don’t see it as productive, right or even normal. But then I want to focus on the bigger things. I want to see a world not run by religion. So while it is a valid issue, and some people need to stop acting like sick idiots, you choose to focus on them, and give them your valuable time.

 

All this fighting has done is make it easy to see how diverse we are, and how little we really do have in common. As for myself, I will not get into the fighting. I have said that before. I will promote anyone. I won’t talk bad about anyone in the movement. I won’t let others do it on my podcast. I won’t support the fights, because I don’t have to. I have too much to achieve for you. I do not and never have done this for me. It is not that fun to be ridiculed every step of the way, trust me. I do this for you, all of you. I don’t care what you believe in, think, or how you act outside of attacking me. What I do care about is the future we are all supposed to be making, and getting this world free from religion. If you are with me, then share this. Then tell people you are tired of the fighting, and join me and others like me. Walk away from the fight. You are all very smart people, those of you fighting. You are great minds, and have great things to add to our movement. You inspire people and have courage and strength. Find it and use it to pull us forward. I will not fight, I will not support it, and I will not force anyone to think like me.

 


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Oh, Sex is AWESOME and YES you should be having it!!

One of the most daunting and frustrating things women face is what we think are signals from men. How do we know if they like us, they love us, they want us, or simply they are our friends. What should we be doing about sex, and what are the rules, or are there rules. Well ladies, and gentlemen, lets have a very brutally honest sex talk. This might help everyone involved. Mostly, this is a sexual map for girls who are confused, worried and thinking, or over thinking sex.

“We are not in a committed relationship but we promised each other not to do things with other people.”

Right there is your answer. You are not in a committed relationship. There is no in the middle, and the promise you made to not do anything with anyone else is not a contract. It does not hold up, and means that he wants his cake and eat it too. Now here is how you have yours. You are not obligated to hold up this deal. While it would be better to tell him that you need more or something else, you are under no obligation to stay with only him, especially when you have no clue if he is holding up his end, and no matter what he says you can never be sure. The best thing to doing this situation is to take control, be happy and get what you want. Don’t just sit and wait for him. Set boundaries, make him aware that you are not his sex toy, and demand to be respected for the independent woman you are.

“I want him to like me.”

I am a firm believer that a person will like you for who you are if they do, and if they don’t then there is not much that can be done about it. Chemistry is a fickle bitch. Sometimes we feel things others don’t. We can’t force them, and there is nothing that can be done to alter that.

Guys want girls that are not all over them, and they want you to relax. If you are not relaxed then they have to worry about all the drama, and most guys are not into the drama. So be fun, enjoy them and most of all enjoy you.  No amount of sitting by the phone, worrying or waiting will ever change the outcome of what you are hoping for. So go and live your life and be happy, and if he is interested, then he will do something. Now if you are mutually interested then you should both. If you text a guy and there is no answer, wait longer. If he never texts you, he is probably not interested. If he does text back great, but the best way to know how each other feels is face to face. Much is lost in the impersonal world of texts, they have no emotion and you have to assume from them.

“He has a girlfriend, should I feel bad for cheating with him, on her.”

I have strict rules about this. I have no guilt to show for someone who is cheating on their partner. See I would never do it, because when I am in a relationship I am secure, but if I caught them it would be done and over, it would also tell me a lot about how they didn’t feel for me. Some people are not monogamous even when in a relationship. In fact they are probably never monogamous. They get their kicks from knowing they can sleep with anyone they want, when they want, and how they want. If you happen to be the one they are looking at and you know they are with someone then there are two options. Hit it and quit it, or don’t. If you do don’t take the time to care, get invested, or become emotional. It won’t work, and that is not what they are looking for. If they are cheating, then they don’t care about the other person or honesty enough to say what they need or want, and most of all they don’t respect them.

Should you feel guilty for their behavior with you? Not really, let’s face it they would have cheated with someone, you just happen to be the one right now. If their other, partner is unaware because they chose not to be then there is not much you are going to change about the situation without making the person aware, and then you do become the bad person. We can’t tell other people what to do, so you shouldn’t try. When you are young it is good to learn about all the ways sex happens, shed the dogma of society and have fun. One of the things I recommend is knowing how cheating goes, and what people who cheat are really like. Once you are aware you can better decide if this is your future behavior or something you can do without. Experience helps, and there should be no guilt. If the person was serious, committed and in love, then they would not be putting themselves in that position.

“The sex is not that good.”

Well then say something or do something. Masturbation is not only for guys, it is for girls too. We should all be taking care of our bodies in a healthy sexual way. Wheather it be sex or masturbation. Use toys and learn about your sexual organs. Learn to stimulate and be stimulated. If one position does not work, try others. Most of all focus on the sex, or orgasm you want. Don’t expect someone else to know your body if you don’t. Use porn as needed and toys. Feel free to explore and experiment until you have had the orgasms and sex you want to be having.  I can’t say it enough, love your body, love it a lot. It is your body. Explore it and every part of it, until you are happy with it, and you realize that every imperfection is part of you and the beauty of you.

Healthy sex and love comes from many places. Loving yourself comes first. Never beg anyone to love you or care for you, or anything like that. Never feel like you are not good enough. Never let anyone make you feel like you are not good enough. Always rely on friends, and friends are the people who would never make you feel bad for who you are. They help you to see the smart beautiful person you are. They guide you to more happiness, and the show you kindness.

Anyone who wants to be in your life should see the value in you. They should be glad to be there, and treat you well. If they do not or if they treat you hurtful then you don’t need them in your life. Negative and harmful people are ones you should be glad to get rid of. It does not mean you have to be unkind. It means you can be the good person and let them go, without being as cruel as others can be. Sometimes it is the best thing that will ever happen to you. Most of all don’t be obsessed with the getting of love. Enjoy sex, and life as much as possible and when you are really ready and know what you want, then get that too.


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Apes And Guns

Conspiracies lie on every doorstep lately, even ones that make me sick. Are we so uninformed, so fearful, so easily swayed that we think our government is killing our citizens here so they can amass a constitutional assault on weapons? We can’t even have a conversation about responsibility, social and personal, political and environmental. The bipedal apes must have their guns. It is not just those who are responsible, no one can question there are good people out there with guns. There are also sick people out there with the same open and blanketed access to weapons. So we need to have a long talk, for the better or worse. I can only imagine if Einstein was here today, or the founding fathers, what would be their thoughts on our current violent outbursts. So I want to have the discussion.

Conspiracies: I know our government has been, and will be guilty of some things. It is a vast amount of people all with a selfish agenda working towards having all the resources we can at our disposal. Which actually is counter to the argument of taking your guns. I say your, because I don’t and won’t own one or many. I am a person of peace, even if that should some day cost me my life. That is the price I would pay. Now as for the conspiracy, other than making us slaves to the system, the government has no need to take all the weapons, and with the way we are so sedentary, it really means there is not much of a fight in the average American. Hardly worth making a plan to take the guns, when it only stirs people to buy more, hide them, fight over them. If it was a conspiracy it would be by the gun makers to use every scare tactic they can to get the consumer to buy more guns, and until there is evidence for the government trying to take all of your guns, then you should refrain from believing such things.

Responsibility: You may have it, but not everyone does, and since when did anything in this world depend on the majority, and not make then suffer because of the misuse of the minority. That is why most things have been outlawed. When there is a sect of the population which abuses their privileges then we often change the laws to reflect it and often times the more responsible suffer at the hands of the irresponsible. It seems like a harsh way to deal with anything, but the reality is we have to stop the access to things by the people who are the most likely to abuse it. There have been many situations where this is true. The founding fathers never wrote the bill of rights with the intent to keep people from having security in schools or public places. They wrote it to prevent those loyal to the King of England from taking their guns and handing the foundling America back to the wrong hands. You might be the most responsible owner of a gun that ever existed, but the fact is as long as you are not willing to accept that blanket access to weapons is problematic then you allow for the likelihood of more shootings and deaths. Then you become responsible for your fellow members of society loosing their lives because you can’t even have the conversation about who and how we can have responsible gun ownership.

One of the greatest issues we face is our evolution has not led us that far from the jungle. We still are hard wired for primitive beliefs and thinking, so it is not absurd to know that given a weapon, an ape would likely use it for some kind of harm. While he may not understand the impact of the harm he has caused, he would be likely to understand that he has hurt a fellow ape. Our evolution has not gone so distant from where we came that we are so different from the other apes. We stand on the backs of giants and have used their extreme intellect  to forward our world, our success and our imagination. Without the Einsteins and the Newtons, and many of the other geniuses that have existed we would barely understand the world we live in.

Our evolution may never get the chance to catch up to our technology if we can’t be a united and caring species. We have survived to evolve this far, and we have become the most destructive force on the planet. Some of us are good, and care about the world we live in and the conservation of it, but many live their lives indoctrinated that their god will return and remake the world. This is just a mere delusion. Once this planet has reached critical mass, and the CO2 levels are above where we can sustain life the planet will go on and man will perish. The truth is you are fighting over a gun, when you are busy ignoring that in the end it may never do you any good. Guns won’t save you from extinction on a mass scale.

All we are is apes with guns, and we are living so unsure of what we are doing and the world in which we live. It is hard to think how we got here knowing that we can’t agree on so much. It would be nice if we could work towards a future where people who own and use guns can enjoy them while the rest of us don’t have to live in fear of being on the other end of them. I know that I have always lived with the dream of knowing my fellow humans for whom they are, good or bad, and enjoying that we all come from the same place. I don’t need weapons, because I have nothing to defend. My life is not worth more than anyone else. I may have more passion and inspiration than most, but it is just how I came up. I was always a dreamer. I just live in pain knowing that more dreams are stolen from innocent people by guns. They were loved, and they gave love. They had dreams. In the blink of an eye a mothers arms would never hold her child tight again. Loved ones would never return home, and their worlds were forever changed. I consider that humbling and saddening at the same time.

I often wonder, in this world where love is so hard to find, have we been so cold to each other that it becomes easy to just kill each other. Guns are not the only problem, but they are a problem, because we put more faith and care in them than the precious lives we have lost. What of the lives that will never read this post? What of the hearts breaking? Would it be different if it had been your loved ones filled with holes, their blood all over the ground, and their lifeless body there in front of you? What will it take for us to care for one another? Maybe we deserve to be extinct, if this is the best we can do for each other.

 


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The Dance.

I am scarcely bemused by the rambling tiresome travails of men who succeed in nothing more than contention to degrade and disregard his fellow man. What shallow creatures we are that we turn in upon each other, content in our own ignorance, rather than content to seek always a greater level of expectations for our own intellect. We burden those whom dare to reach heights we possibly never will reach by attempting to drag them unwillingly into the trenches of our ignorance.

At what do we reach to achieve? To seek for nothing more than oppression, violence, and charismatic displays of vulgar disdain for every man who slightly disagrees with us. We have sought to better our humanity while suffering from the inflated arrogance of a bipedal ape who has assured himself that he is neither an ape, nor alike those from which he evolved.

Ah the pretenses, many men who profess themselves philosophers, theologians, and scientists with nothing more than an armchair degree. Where by Google is god, and they worship at the first link. They grasp at mere lines of knowledge and profess their great strength of character. It can be said, almost assuredly, that the abuse of knowledge is a disgusting act. Second only to the over use of Wikipedia which is notoriously unreliable. While it may strive to achieve better quality, it fails exceedingly to impress when needed. No it is laughable that we put down books of great and vast knowledge, all to surrender our capacity for thought to nothing more than opinions.


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I Just Want You To Be Happy~Ouch!!!

Atheist love is not so different in many terms from theist love. Nor are relationships, the emotional part, not the sexual. We all make the same mistakes, same choices, same heated passionate bondings. In other words, the emotional side of love can be just as damaging and hurtful on either side of the bar. Some words send more messages than intended. In fact the message that can be received can change the other person’s perspective of you completely, or make them think there are things to be rectified if the relationship is going to go farther.

The statement, “I just want you to be happy,” holds more in the context than the message sender might have intended. The intention of the statement is to desire for the other person to enjoy whom they are with and the relationship. To let them express that if they are not content, then they should seek a more content arrangement or love affair with someone more pleasing. The actual message received is, if you find someone better, then please make yourself happy and go with them.

This has always been one of my pet peeves. People might be changeable, as in there are others, but they are not expendable, and certainly not disposable.  In fact all people are different and looking for the right one is a task, and a journey. Dating is an experience that can be hard, and yet satisfying when you find one who suits what you need and are looking for. A person with the right qualities is often hard to find, and there is no perfect match out there. Differences can make or break a relationship depending on the severity,

A statement like, “I just want you to be happy,” sends a signal which implies there might be more happiness to be found with someone else. Wheather the person intended it or not. It also says that there is a feeling about what the other person feels they mean, or lack meaning to you. We don’t get to choose for others what makes them happy. Most of all the implication here is that somehow the other person might not see the value in you, and so if someone has the chance to make you more happy, you should dismiss the value of the person you are with, and be selfish enough to seek better.

Part of relationships is the give and take. Everyone should be happy, they should have their hearts desire. Being atheists we know that the dating pool is very shallow. Some of us can’t deal with theists in relationships because of their emotional and sexual hangups. This means the chances of us finding the right one for us goes down exponentially.  Which by no means sets the standard for settling. It just means that you are more likely to have to look harder and father for the one who is right for you.

Most of all self esteem plays a large role here. It is a sad affair of the heart to think that you might not be the one who makes the other person the happiest or question how they can be happier.  There is no perfect mate. There is no one person who you can say will make you blissful every day of your life. No one should even be thinking along those lines. What makes one relationship good may not work for another. Not distance, or commonalities can change what does, or doesn’t work.  Hearing someone say they want you to be happy can be hard, especially when they are the one in whom you find the most happiness. It leads to questioning where they are, and if they are truly happy. Or if they can also find you as an expendable commodity.

Humans tend to make the mistake of seeing people as objects, we all do it. On a day to day basis we can’t see every human for the worth they have. The ones we do are part of our close social group, and those outside often fall to being mere objects. Some of us choose to see them as less of objects, because we know they all come attached to feelings, understandings, flaws, dreams, hopes, demands, but they are human just the same. It is severe objectification of other people which leads us to being the most miserable, and people can be down right cruel.

When a person has suffered a lot due to societies opinion of them, harsh words thrown at them, being mistreated, neglected, and abused, then they often suffer by not feeling good enough for others. Our society places a great value on being fit, looking a certain way, living a certain lifestyle. In the end the people with the most caring and open hearts tend to suffer the most damage. Something that can’t always be repaired.

Our social structure is based on biology, we are driven by that first and foremost. Behind that is the mental choices we make. We pick qualities in a mate that might have everything to do with social norms, and might have nothing to do with social norms. By all means from an outside perspective, being religious might seem a social norm. Not that any part of me could see this as true. In this instance, we atheists would all be outside of the social norm. Which might be a biological strike against us. This is just one of many factors, but if you are looking for beauty alone, or specific traits, like money, social standing, popularity, and high desirability on the part of others, you might find yourself in a very disappointing relationship.

Relationships are built. They take a lot of work and dedication. Something that can’t happen if you are busy being distracted enough to be looking for more happiness. They are by far not easy, and once the hormones have dulled down, you have to have someone who you find compatible, and feel enough of an empathetic bond with to continue a sustained relationship. Otherwise the best that you will do is move partner to partner seeking the rush of chemicals to the brain which can be highly addicting.

Telling someone you want them to be happy sends the message that they might not be, or could do better. It is the wrong message to send, when you are trying to show your value and worth to another person. In the initial stages of love and romance we are all like peacocks strutting around showing our best side, making everything look its best to attract the mate. That exists for a reason. we all want to look good to our potential partner. The reality is we all come loaded with flaws, and if someone is going to invest time with you, and emotion it is great for them to see that initially. What they can or can’t accept will be the determining factor. Not everyone who sees you will accept you for whom you are, but there are those who definitely will. Those are the ones who don’t need to be pushed away, told they can do better, or expressed to that you just want them to be happy.

The happiness comes from having a bond with a person you enjoy, and are wiling to let enjoy you.It comes from not guarding your flaws and feeling like those outweigh your good qualities, and any person who cares can see your worth above the flaws. So instead of telling people you just want them to be happy, just let them be happy. We all decide those things for ourselves. On one else can determine what will make us happy, not friends, not parents, not anyone but us. So on this one, do yourself a favor, and don’t express how your potential mate can be happier, or might be happier elsewhere. Let them be as happy with you as they choose to be, until they no longer choose to be.