Rachel Johnson

Atheist Blogger- the godlessvagina / Podcaster the pink atheist

I’m Bleeding Humanity All Over The Place.


I have been called everything from cold bitch, to heartless. I have been ridiculed for everything from my intellect, to my womanhood. I often wonder would the case be the same if I had been born a male. Then, would I have even cared to be me at all. Most people think they know the me that my friends get to cherish. The me who would dare to give my life’s blood for them, cry with them, and step into the muck with them. No, I dare to say you don’t know me at all. Inside most of the time I am frail, and weak. Weak for the cause of humanity.

Wise men have seen, as I see, the desperation of the human cause. The sheer need to defend it from its self, and for its self. I once believed we were all children of the same god, I can now see we are children of the wild animals we evolved from, and much as we deny our uncivilized nature, we tend to act unquestionably upon it. I pity our somber existence. Our need for gods, to bow like sheep before a raging monster, to twist him and form him into something we can love. All the while watching as men live in fear of ever breath they take. Living with madness coursing through their veins hating the very humanity that makes them who they are.

I have grown wearie at times thinking of man, his plagues he places upon others. The fighting, the hate, the fear, the rape, the murder. One more life snuffed out in a fit of rage. One more suffering at the hands of merciless and cruel people with no regard for life. When will the bitterness end? How much more can we take? Why must we do nothing about change and expect it to come?

I feel for the poor, the suffering, the victims of abuse, rape, violence. I know the world can’t be perfect, but must it be this chaotic? Must we deny others the right to the same happiness, and harmony that we would grant ourselves? It will always be denied inside the bonds and chains of religion. While religion is not the only source of evil in the world, it is the most predominant, it is the most infectious. There are times when I hang my head and say to my self, being born was more a burden than a blessing.

That is because for the life of me I can’t ignore human suffering. For all that I am, I can’t walk away from horrible things depressed and saddened. I bleed my humanity all over the place. I always have. Sometimes I wish it would just stop. Stop all of the feelings that make me say, why again do you harm each other, ignore each other, what mercilessness the human brain can contrive. I wonder, do many people feel this for each other, or is it just me so buried under the burden to fix humanity.

I would rather spend most of my life in learning than in fighting, but it seems there is always someone ready to fight. Fight over their ideal of reality, based on nothing but a delusion of what they wish they had, could be, or how they want people to believe their version of everything, which is based on utter garbage, and holds no truth or value.

I look at the world around me and think with a bitter heart, when will you stop the brutality. When will you care? Why does it become so easy to forget? People spend more time tearing each other apart than putting them back together. Why is it the moment you can’t agree with someone, then it is time to attack them personally?

I have even faced this from atheists. As of lately in fact. One who wouldn’t listen to me went so far as to call me a bitch without actually writing it. After I had the courtesy to never call him anything. After many attempts by me to explain things. And why dare you to ask would he do such a thing, because I pointed out the obvious. Look it is your delusion and if you want to live in it atheist or not, fine then have at it.

I have learned to see something bad for you from the onset. I know that abusers tend to stay abusers, and users tend to stay users. I won’t agree to be part of something that lowers me to the level of of second rate or accomplice to abuse, or basically asks me to be silent and forgo what I know about being a good human for anyone.

If only you knew, knew the conversations I have had. Ones where your heart would break in two, ones where you just have nothing you can say to help, and words which will comfort. I really don’t care to betray the secrets I hold quietly. I really have no taste for seeing suffering. I hold nothing but contempt for certain people.

I was repulsed to find that in my own family there is a person abusing another adult. One who is slow, and lacks every bit of education and opportunity that could be offered. That the abuser will just beat them for anything that goes wrong in their world. It made me want to vomit, and it still does. How, how do I deal with what I see?

One of my best friends lost her brother to a tumor, seeing her status of pain put me in pain.

Those are not even secrets.

But I wonder, can’t we do better than this?

Does religion have to poison the world? Do we have to be cruel to other humans? Do we think that being weak means we can never be strong? I ask you because for the moment I am all out of answers. What I am is saddened by the human condition. The only thing that cheers me is knowing there are hearts out there that are more precious than gold.

It may be easy to be unkind to a stranger, or treat someone in your life as unwanted and unwelcome, but then I ask you why is it so?




Author: Rachel Johnson

I am a writer about atheist issues. Separation of the church and state. Women and their right to choose, and sex. I talk about all of the "taboos" of modern life as well as evolution and science.

9 thoughts on “I’m Bleeding Humanity All Over The Place.

  1. Economics is the reason and yes we can do better than this. Infinite economic growth on a finite planet is the solution laid out in the old testament however they didn’t understand the question. We now know we have to reintegrate with the natural environment or we will continue to be the problem. Intellectuals have always talked to intellectuals but it will be the peons who change the world. The temporary turmoil within the Freethought movement will fade as it gives way to bigger areas of disagreement. I’m certain the hyperskeptics are in the way. Michael Shermer, Sam Harris, Steven Pinker and the unamazing Randi are shutting down critical thinking. I say 9/11 was an inside job, we all have the potential for free will, and us petty human beings are not the only life forms floating around this planet and never were. So Rachel don’t feel too bad about anyone calling you a bitch for being a critic of everyday reality, I know a whole lot of educated people who are unwilling to look at the evidence right in front of their face because like the Christians, they have it all figured out. Atheism+ will run out of gas this next year as more important issues will obscure the current bickering. Happy fucking new year, at least that’s the rumor floating around here.

  2. WOW!

    We agree on this one!

    THANK you for your comments.

    Some of the personal stuff is sota self-inlicted IMO?

    Still a lack of charity is CRASS! We ought to be intelligent enough to make our critisms in truth; but with as much charity as we can.

    I too am appalled at mans inhumanity to man.

    I think of what WE [all / none excluded] did to Christ.

    Then the Hitlers, Sadams, and the nut is the most recent shooting-maddness.


    I pray that we will find the moral courage to do so.

    God Bless you my friend!

    working4christ2 [BLOG]

  3. Christians are so sure they have it all figured out they are oblivious to the fact one out of 5 people here in the US fall into the category of none in regards to religious belief. Sure some of these people consider themselves spiritual but they’re no longer throwing money into collection plates. I believe by the next presidential election in 2016 freethought folks will be about 1 out of 4 of the electorate. Christians also seem to be unaware cross cultural change is bringing in Muslims, Hindus and Bhuddists which further shrinks Christian influence here. Those Christians are positive their mythology is the real deal but few of them have ever read the bad book with an open mind. Down the road it will truly be the Christians who are left behind.

    I suggest working4christ2 read the bad book in the new year. Old testament authors plagiarized their novel and wrote themselves in as god’s chosen people. Those authors wrote into their gods mouth Isaiah 45:7 “I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the Lord do all these things”. So that character satan is just a subcontractor for evil and it was the god of the bad book pulling the trigger in Newtown Conn. And son of himself Jesus says in Matthew 10:34 “Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword”.

    That novel is 50 shades of black because violence is what binds it all together. The world will be a better place when all religious mythology whithers away. People have to take responsibility for their actions because the economic conditions in America today will lead to more violence. There are too many brilliant young people just drifting thru their life with nowhere to apply themselves. If that kid Adam Lanza had a job within which he could have employed his brain to better humanity I believe 27 people would still be alive.

    Science keeps advancing in every direction and all the Christians have is faith and the bad book. I am optomistic religion is in serious decline and there is nothing the faithful can do to stop it. Churches in Italy now have to start paying taxes and it’s just a matter of time before that happens here in the land of milk and honey.

  4. While individual atrocities, both big and small, continue to happen. I want to address “I look at the world around me and think with a bitter heart, when will you stop the brutality. ”

    I have no idea when it will stop but I’m heartened that, when examining the bigger picture, it is better today than ever before. Secularism, and the roots it finds in The Enlightenment, is a big part of the improvement. Historically speaking, those ideas are in their infancy and they have already made a huge impact in making the world a better place.

    I can’t recommend the book, “The Better Angels of Our Nature” by Steven Pinker highly enough. Data driven and big picture focused, it does a great job of exploring the long term decline of violence that is undeniable by those truly willing to look at the evidence.

    Activism, atheism, secularism and humanism are working…not as fast as any of us would like, but they are making a difference…women and men like you, actively pursuing truth and sharing it with the rest of us will continue to push it forward.


  5. What is actually the nature of man? Man is a being with a mind to use to know what is right and wrong, good and evil based on sense data. He is free not to use his mind but not free to escape the consequences of it. Our relationship with our fellow men is in a form of exchange and/or trade. We exchange material and none material value at our own choice with other who wants to. Of course, there are disagreement between us but not at the point of killing each other. That is the reason why we have a government: to protect our freedom and liberty from being violated. Actions that violates individual rights are forced, coercion and fraud. Who are they? Criminals and potentially the government that creates laws that are anti-man and anti-life. As a person, I am not that altruistic as saving the world from evil of its own making. Any acts that does not enhances and improves ones life are evil. Knowing what are the acts that enhances and improves ones life requires the proper and full use of ones power to think.

  6. Atheists can’t be real Americans in the truest sense of the word..

    . America was founded on a creedal statement. It can be found in the Declaration of Independence…

    Thus, America was founded on the principle that the Creator God endowed men with certain unalienable rights.

    This statement formed the basis of self-governance in a world ruled by kings and tyrants.

    It is the principle that set America apart from the rest of the world. […]

    America was thus founded as a Judeo-Christian nation, tolerant of other views, but with the understanding that only a moral people governing themselves to the best of their ability under God’s eternal laws were capable of maintaining the liberty established uniquely under this covenant.

    • Apparently you know nothing about the founding fathers, many of whom did not even attend church. Jefferson made the explicit statement establishing the wall of separation, in fact in the establishment clause it says no church can be established, no forced religion. The state has to keep politics from religion, which means us atheists could be the state. Now if you want to say they were establishing a nation whereby god a specific god was also established then you better prove everyone was of the same religion, was religious, and the intent of the founding fathers was a christian nation. None of those words appear anywhere in any documents of the state. And in fact a oath to a god or creator has never been the method for citizenship, and by birth alone persons are naturalized citizens. So FAIL FAIL FAIL FAIL!!! Now back into your cave till zombie Jesus comes to save you.

  7. The founding fathers were politicians after all. To appeal to everybody they had to speak out of both sides of their face now and then. It was not their intent to lead humanity back to the witch hunts. Their combined efforts helped ease away from puritan lunacy. Anybody who believes America was built on a christian foundation has to ignore the advances of science over the last 237 years. And they do.

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