My Godless Vagina.
By: Rachel Johnson
Let it be known from here forward that my vagina has never had a personal relationship with god.
Any god, ever.
In fact my vagina has no clue why any god is so worried about it.
It seems to me my vagina is just fine. I don’t want your god in my vagina.
I don’t want your religion in my vagina. Most of all I don’t want you telling me what to do with my godless vagina.
My vagina was not issued by the state. I did not go to any office to pick it up. I did not have it ordered, or licensed.
I was born with it. There is no bureaucrat in my vagina, and I assure you there is no room for one. In fact there is no doctor in there, there is no lawyer in there, and that is the way I want to keep it.
I don’t want you putting your religious laws into practice governing my vagina. She is fine, without you and certainly without your god.
My godless vagina has been fine for all these years without someone forcing their beliefs on it.
It has worked just fine, and I have made my personal choices based on what was best for me.
I don’t ask anyone to come and take care of my vagina. I do a good enough job.
So let me tell you to leave my godless vagina alone.
I will not be converting my vagina to Christian, Muslim, Hindu or any other religion, and I certainly don’t need you trying to force my vagina to hold your beliefs.
My godless vagina is not guilty.
It has never used tax payer money to throw parties, it does not fly on private jets with tax payer money.
It does not ride in limos on tax payer money, and it does not need tax payer money to exist.
In fact I have worked and paid for my godless vagina’s needs.
I don’t see why people believe they have the right to make laws about my vagina.
Since it is inside of me, it should be my decision. In fact I wonder why there are no testicle laws.
I wonder why mens sperm is not on the docket?
Why is my vagina a national issue, and no penis is getting blamed?
That makes my godless vagina pretty mad. After all it takes two to have sex, and my vagina has not been sneaking around with secret penises.
I am aware of what my vagina does, and the state should not be.
My vagina is in good hands, after all nature gave it to me.
Now you can say there are some women who are not responsible with their vaginas.
That may be because they are not educated about their vaginas, and feel the need to let gods into their vaginas.
That is not the case with me and most women. We are responsible. We take the best care of our vaginas that we can. We choose birth control, and abortion only when necessary. No one ever chooses abortion for fun.
So when it comes to me and my godless vagina, I want every law maker in Washington DC to know. She is a godless heathen vagina, but she is mine. I will not let you take the right to my godless vagina away from me.
You are not putting a church, a bureaucrat, and a lawyer in my vagina. You are certainly not putting your god in my vagina.
My vagina has never had a personal relationship with your god and she does not want to.
Leave my godless vagina alone.
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Rachel Johnson 
November 27, 2012 at 2:28 pm
Now that made me laugh!
January 4, 2013 at 9:24 pm
“my vagina has not been sneaking around with secret penises.”
Funniest part haha
June 23, 2013 at 2:51 am
Just found this blog. Great job!
December 23, 2013 at 12:41 am
And you want male taxpayers to pay for removing something from your vagina caused by having sex ?
December 23, 2013 at 1:05 am
Baseless and makes assumptions you can’t possibly know.
You don’t have the organ, you don’t make the decisions.
Unless you want sperm legislation.
December 25, 2013 at 12:26 am
Got news for you. Your tax dollars are now paying for the thousands of unwanted births by women who lacked the income and opportunity to terminate a pregnancy.
December 23, 2013 at 2:55 am
I want sperm legislation. !! Asap!!
December 23, 2013 at 5:58 am
I do too, every ejaculation not intended to produce a baby is murder x1billion so you get life in prison. Sound insane enough?
That’s how us women feel.
December 26, 2013 at 3:14 am
so you are a catholic then? who so ignores the scientific fact that men produce sperm constantly, which the body has to realise ? Rachel, you are anti logic, anti science and in no position to critisize, religious people, even creationists. You mind is exactly the same, but with a different choice.
December 26, 2013 at 3:18 am
Yes t does. I control trolls. As for me. I am an atheist and scientist. So spew your garbage….garbage in/ garbage out.
December 26, 2013 at 3:21 am
so views that oppose your’s are garbage? … you are not a scientist. what makes you a scientist anyway? you stating it?
December 26, 2013 at 3:25 am
“garbage….garbage in/ garbage out” feminism in a nutshell.
December 26, 2013 at 5:59 pm
Look Daniel. America is not going back to the day when women were resigned to shut up and be barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. If you really yearn for those days then I suggest copious amounts of viewing Leave it to Beaver and Father Knows Best
December 26, 2013 at 5:14 pm
Daniel, i think you’re missing the spirit of the post. It’s comedy, dude… and it’s pretty good.
December 26, 2013 at 5:47 pm
It’s not comedy. It is a serious statement about the ownership and possession of my sex organs and the private use of them.
My body doesn’t need government or religious regulation.
December 26, 2013 at 5:53 pm
To which i fully agree, 100%.
December 26, 2013 at 9:12 pm
so what do you think of it as a serious piece John?
December 26, 2013 at 10:42 pm
Could you use better grammar? If you want to criticize other people’s work, first start with your own, and bad grammar usage.
December 26, 2013 at 11:05 pm
Well it is serious, in a brilliantly cheeky way… and I agree with the sentiment. What’s there not to agree with? The religious have sought to meddle and legislate what is not theirs to meddle in or legislate over.
December 26, 2013 at 11:36 pm
John, this piece in not about legion, it mentions it, it is about a massively disproportionate view of the author’s vagina.
John, I responded to the as a serious piece, you said it was written in a spirit of comedy, which the author her self rebukes you and says you are wrong.
If this was written as a comedy piece in your initial view, it would only have parody, a send up, as possibly being the comedic spirit of it. Also that would be the only reason to say I missed that comedic spirit in response to my comment.
You are flip flopping like crazy, you seem to “need” to align yourself with this author and/or her view.
What made you think the “poem” was satire?
This “Why is my vagina a national issue, and no penis is getting blamed?” is misandry. If you can’t take that, it is also wrong and has nothing to do with religion.
You have missed the point, been corrected, and still miss the point. You seem to have to keep going through mental contortions to rationalize your support of, what you though was a send up! i.e. so extreme and ridiculous it must not be serious.
But now you find out it is serious, you ignore your previous view as recorded, and you view of mine.
You thought it was a comedy piece and I, responding to it as it was intended… i.e. seriously, missed that.
December 26, 2013 at 11:41 pm
Obviously fails to understand misandry, while subscribing to misogyny.
December 26, 2013 at 3:16 am
your moderation of all comments says a lot.
December 26, 2013 at 3:19 am
the biggest taboo in society is our not being allowed critisize women, or discus gender matter openly. This is solely down to feminists.
December 27, 2013 at 12:16 am
how Rachel? your poem shows serious resentment and hostility towards men. Vagina’s aren’t as big a deal or focussed on as you seem to think, it is a delusion.
I have not made any sexist or gender specific attack. You have. Typical hypocrisy.
Loom at it, your white knight that you were sending up ridiculous feminist attitudes.
Can you back up any of the views expressed in your poem? with fact
December 27, 2013 at 12:27 am
Grammar, use it. Otherwise it’s as bad looking at what you wrote as what you said.
Also seeing as how the current laws are state sanctioned rape (penetration of a woman’s vagina without permission) and limits to abortions, which is none of your business as a man, and all laws govern women only, I think it is you who s sexist.
Also, I am not further engaging you, so you can stalk my you tube, my blogs, my everything, and I am does.
December 27, 2013 at 1:14 am
“Grammar, use it”…. I do. But that is nether her nor there. It’s just you dodging “engaging” which you have not done. Not even once.
You make these comments and general comments about your views, and act like they apply to me. That is illogical and shows extreme prejudice.
You really showed yourself up he when you said “penetration of a woman’s vagina without permission” as the definition of rape.
Where do you live that the state allows rape? i.e . “penetration of a woman’s vagina without permission”
December 27, 2013 at 1:21 am
I refuse to give away exactly where I live, but Ohio now has forced vaginal ultrasounds. That is the definition of rape, penetration without permission. Look it up.
No, you don’t use grammar. But you need to.
As for the rest, no reason to answer.
December 27, 2013 at 1:42 am
“No need to answer”, is your motto, from your sense of entitlement. Now women’s, yours.
As for grammar, you really are not in a position to critisize on that. Even if you were, it only had relevance in a “discussion” where a person’t grammar is so bad, you cannot clearly understand them. In my view. Otherwise it is just a way of copping out.
Re definitions here is the first one I got “the crime, typically committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against their will:” . By your definition a woman can NEVER rape a man.
You definition is right in law in many areas. But that is morally wrong.
You think no matter what a woman does to a man sexually against his will, if done by a woman, it cannot be rape. But you call a forced ultrasound rape. There is not really a justification I can see for a forced vaginal ultrasound. It sounds abhorrent to me.
But not as abhorrent as you hate, lies and hypocrisy. To you a woman can do as she pleases with a man and it not be rape. Like conjugal rights, but for all women in relation to all men. That, is misandry, extreme and clear misandry.
I have tried to talk to you, but you refuse to. Are you afraid we might find some common ground that might help end conflict in the male female gender dynamic? If so why?
Not once have I said anything anywhere near the broad, harsh, disturbing sexist and gender hating comments you have. I have not been vulgar. lied or been abusive.
Well you are a perfect example of why this problem exists. Most people in the real world are not man or woman haters. Men, as a gender, do not oppress women as a gender.
Anyway, reply if you want. But reply on topic.
December 27, 2013 at 1:45 am
That is one definition of rape, and rape is not a male entering a female, it is unwanted penetration, sexual acts, and more. That was one example.
I am done. Bye.
December 27, 2013 at 1:45 am
Also, don’t dare ever tell me what to do on my blog, or you will be blocked.
December 27, 2013 at 2:13 am
Knee jerk! that’s a bit much from you Rachel…. a good example is “Also, don’t dare ever tell me what to do on my blog, or you will be blocked.”. I never did… what on earth are you talking about? Nor did I say anything woman hating!
Where did I tell you what to o on your blog?
Re rape, you defined it as penetration of a woman. I gave you a chance to clarify that, but it didn’t cross you mind it seems. If definitions have multiple examples that differ so wildly, they mean nothing. You chose this definition, so in a situation of multiples you chose this. Not as an example but as a reason to say something was BY THT DEFINITION rape.
This a la carte attitude to words meaning to suit oneself, false accusations, dodging issues, threats to block, never backing up. These are all feminist traits.
If you can’t accept differing views why start a public page?
December 27, 2013 at 2:15 am
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/rape
December 27, 2013 at 1:44 am
p.s. I never asked your tell tell me where you live, so your “refusal” is reactionary in the extreme and completely unnecessary . As equally unnecessary as if I had said it to you.
If you change you mind and stop hating men, or at least can put it on hold for a while, I’d love to discuss.
Goodnight
December 27, 2013 at 1:47 am
Are you daft? Do you have learning disabilities? Have you not seen my posts about abuse against men?
Or are you just a knee jerk, anti feminist, who concludes based upon immaturity?
December 27, 2013 at 2:14 am
“Do you have learning disabilities? “…. nice
December 27, 2013 at 2:35 am
Rachek, you do realize how sending me a definition of rape that is in line with the one I gave, not the one you expressed… after talking about multiple definitions, is farcical? I gave this one “the crime, typically committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with the offender against their will:”… not to prove anything like you did but as an example like you claimed yours was. Yours wasn’t an example it was key to your “point”.
You said “penetration of a woman’s vagina without permission” …. not “That is one definition of rape, and rape is not a male entering a female, it is unwanted penetration, sexual acts, and more.” which is also false, but at odds with your gender specific restriction.
Even n this you say “it is unwanted penetration”, which very much makes it a male crime. If a woman forces a man to penetrate her, to you …. even when discussing your sexist view specifically and like so many feminists view, insist on dismissing a woman forcing sex on a man, as rape.
You see this everywhere, especially in statutory rape.